2018 is well and truly here and this time last year I fully believed 2017 was going to be the year our music reached out to more people and grew into 2018.
Sometimes life has a way of kicking you right in the nuts when you don't expect it and last July I lost my father. He was 84 and had a tough last 10 years or so and I always knew the day would come sooner rather then later and told myself I was prepared for it and accepting that this is how the world is. How wrong was I!
This knocked me in so many different ways I couldn't get going. Everything just became numb and any plans or ideas just fell away. I feel now finally that the time has past long enough for me to write about it.
It still hurts everyday, and writing this has my chest tightening up but it has moved to a different stage I feel and now everything doesn't seem so bleak anymore. I wrote a blog entry on this about 3 months ago but I wasn't really ready to share any feelings at that time so that stayed locked away. But now, now I feel my blood running through my body again. I am writing again. Planning and getting things done again, and probably for the first time properly organised and I thank my Dad for that because I have refocused on the important parts of my life that make me happy and concentrate on making something I believe in instead of chugging along in this world.
My Mum asked me to sing at my Dads funeral, Gentle on my mind, one of his favs. Keith had no hesitation in playing guitar for it and I am so grateful to be making music and sharing all types of musical moments with him. For the first time I got to play live with my oldest brother Brian, which was incredibly special to me despite the reasons for it. So this moment will mean so much to me on so many levels. In fact one of the bright moments to look back on during this time was that the family spent so much time together and became closer I feel.
I owe everything to Niamh,Mia and Ella. Bursting with love.
Thank you to everyone who wrote/spoke/called/hugged/ raised a drink/cried/took my head on their shoulder, it was appreciated more then I could ever say.
And finally thank you Pops, for being my hero and you will always be gentle on my mind.